Scoutie Girl has sent out a call for crafters to share their struggles. She declares that “We are not always happy people covered with tacky glue, acrylic paint and threads of a newly sewn dress.” So true, so true.
My art professor, Sue Buck, said to us once, “When the pain of NOT creating art exceeds the pain of creating art, that’s when you’ll start working again.” This happens less for me now in the world of craft than in the world of fine art. I can exist with the creative process more playfully, pulling out materials and just using my eyes and feelings to put them together and create rhythm, contrasting and harmonizing colors, sizes and textures until I find something that I didn’t know I was looking for.
Sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? Well, much of the day is filled with little struggles believe it or not. Most of these come from a place of self-doubt and second guessing. Am I marketing enough? Am I marketing effectively? Should I do a craft show? Should I feel bad if I decide not to do a craft show? Are the pictures good enough? Are the tags appropriate enough? Am I charging enough? Am I charging too much? On and on my thoughts sometimes pull me, a murmuring undercurrent to all my activities. Sometimes I’ll even reach a point where I think to myself “What is the point of anything, anyway?”
What then brings me out of this cloud of self-doubt is an immersion in creation, an immersion in craft and in art. When I’m playing with colorful semiprecious stones or slathering thick, plum-colored oil paint on a canvas, I become immersed in beauty, in possibility and freedom. The baggage of everyday gets set outside the door of my mental room and I’m simply existing and playing. Like during meditation or yoga practice, the questioning voice inside my head stills and I’m gliding. After a while, the voice comes back, the worries rear their ominous heads, but it’s always a cycle, a return to peace is guaranteed. Without the struggle, there would be no sublime moments of creation and vice versa, they exist in tandem.
In conclusion, I think that Sue’s statement still applies in a larger-picture sense: “When the pain of NOT creating a business exceeds the pain of creating a business, that’s when you’ll start working again.” Maybe even more accurately, “When the pain of NOT living exceeds the pain of living…” or “When the pain of NOT dragging yourself off of the couch exceeds the pain of dragging yourself off of the couch…” Quiet, depressed, unsure-of-yourself times come to us all, but they will also leave us again eventually. Life is a bumpy ride, but I think we’d better enjoy every pothole, because this whole experience is all-too precious and temporary.
Have stories of craft/art struggles to share? Please do! Also, check out ScoutieGirl’s blog post about her experiences with depression and to see other people’s struggles they have shared there.